Happy Friday, even if it is Friday the 13th. Valentine’s Day celebrations were the order of the day at school. Valentine’s Day at school is the hardest day of the school year. Christmas is a snap compared to Valentine’s Day. I don’t know if it is the secrets with the Valentine Cards or the candy or what, but children are super active on this day. But we got through the day and no one was maimed or injured. And I now own about 10 pounds of chocolate. This evening Bruce, Geni and Travis joined me at the gym. Not many people work out on Friday night so we had our choice of equipment for as long as we wanted. Not a bad time to work out.

1 Corinthians 13:7 says, “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things.”

This journal entry may take a couple of days. Tonight I grilled pork steaks. I did not begin the grilling until about 7:00 so it was dark. I lit these silly tiki torches that Casey bought last summer. And then I began to remember last summer when he finally got out of the hospital for a while and he bought us a wonderful grill. We have used the grill a lot (as I grill all year round), but never lit the torches until tonight. I hope that if the citizens of heaven are able to look down on us that Casey could see his torches and know that I was thinking of him and remembering how much fun he had buying them last summer. So there I am, grilling steaks by the light of tiki torches, crying and missing Casey so much I could hardly stand it.

At that moment I figured out that the hurt I was feeling wasn’t so much that Casey was not with us now, but the memory of him being with us last summer; alive and happy. What I remember was that Casey bought the grill to say thank you for all of the sacrifices he felt we had made for him over the nearly last year. I remember the joy in his eyes as he picked out the grill and the laughter as he bought the tiki torches and how he loved the grilling section of Wal-Mart. I told him that there was no sacrifice involved, but simply unconditional love. It was our joy to do whatever needed to be done and to take care of him and keep him close.

This passage speaks of God’s unconditional love for us. If you substitute “God” for the word love it explains to us what some of the qualities of unconditional love are. “God bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things.” God loves us so much that He is willing to bear whatever burdens we have and asks us to let Him carry them. God loves us so much that He assures us that belief in Him will bring us into closer relationship and that our hope is not in this world, but in Him. We will have things to endure while on this side of heaven and God assures us that He will be with us as we endure difficult situations. So in my moment of pain God caused me to laugh as I was standing between two tiki torches and grilling steaks in the dark. I will always miss my son until I see him again someday, but now I can light the torches by the grill and be reminded that as the memory of Casey will always be so close to my heart and the light of God is just as close lighting my way as a constant reminder that He is with me always. Adventures in grilling at night…take joy in the journey.

Love you all and may your Valentine’s Day be filled with love and just a bit of chocolate. Bruce, Gaylene, Geni and Travis.

Gcapplenotes@aol.com

I am not moved by what I see. I am not moved by what I feel. I am moved only by what I believe and I believe God.