Happy Monday! We are doing some cleaning in preparation for a visit from family this weekend. Bruce was moving some things a little while ago from Geni’s room to Travis' room (temporarily) as her room will be painted tomorrow. As he was making the transfers he found some old pictures of Geni at Christmas when she was two and one of Travis and Casey laughing hysterically and covered in mud in the front yard still wearing their school clothes. I remember that day and I went to the door finding them muddy from head to toe. I placed my hands on my hips while using my meanest, maddest voice ever saying,”Don’t move!” Now my boys were sure they were in lots of trouble when I came back to the door with the camera and took their picture. I think they were laughing in relief and they looked so funny and were having such a great time. Right now I wish I could get that day back.

Joshua 1:9 says, “Don’t be afraid, because the Lord your God will be with you everywhere you go.”

Bruce brought the pictures to me and after I looked at them I picked up a picture book that I began putting together back in October. When we began to go through family photos for the celebration service I placed these pictures in a red picture album. I picked red because Casey was such an OU fan. The book is on my desk and I haven’t looked at the pictures in almost 6 months. When I picked up the album I found myself going through the pages at a rapid fire pace to find the next empty spaces. I was running through the pages so I would not have to see Casey’s smiling face and have my heart break all over again. I closed the album and just held it for a while. I was afraid to open the book and open up all of those memories.
Then I sat down to write the journal and the scripture from Joshua was my meditation tonight. God said He would be with me when my heart is breaking. God said not to be afraid of my memories for He was there in those memories and He will be with me now as I live this life without Casey.

This week is Holy Week. As I contemplate Jesus’ last days, I think of what He may have done that last week. Did He say good-bye to friends? Did He visit His mother and siblings? Did he eat His favorite meal? Did He go to His favorite places one last time? Did He say good-bye to His dog? Jesus knew what He was facing. He was facing His own death. God was with Jesus as He lived that last week. God was with Jesus as He walked toward the cross. Jesus was not alone. God was with Him.

What are you facing? Are you facing indebtedness? God is with you. Are you facing unemployment? God is with you. Are you facing illness? God is with you. Are you facing the loss of someone in your life? Whatever you are facing, you are not alone. God is with you. Remember these words: you are not alone. God is with you. And He loves you so much.

Take joy in the journey. Love you all, Bruce, Gaylene, Geni and Travis.

Gcapplenotes@aol.com

I am not moved by what I see. I am not moved by what I feel. I am moved only by what I believe and I believe God.